{"product_id":"not-today-karen","title":"Not Today Karen!","description":"You didn't wake up looking for a fight. But you didn't wake up looking to be managed by someone who wants to speak to the manager either.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nYou've smiled through the passive aggressive emails. You've nodded through the unsolicited opinions. You've listened to the complaints about things that are frankly none of anyone's business. You've been patient. You've been reasonable. You've been the bigger person more times than anyone will ever know.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nNot today.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nToday you woke up and chose peace — specifically yours. Karen can find someone else to ruin their afternoon.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe good stuff:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Bella+Canvas 3001 — 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 4.2 oz — lightweight, soft, and ready for whatever today brings\u003cbr\u003e\n• Pre-shrunk so it stays the size you ordered\u003cbr\u003e\n• Side-seamed for a cleaner fit than your dad's boxy tees\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unisex sizing — size up for a relaxed fit, size down for something more fitted\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPrinted to order. Made fresh when you buy it, shipped straight to you. No warehouse. No complaints. No follow up emails.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBoundaries: set. Karen: handled. 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